Wednesday, April 12, 2006

When the revolution comes it is Donald Trump who will be fired. And the Trump Tower will be reclaimed in the name of the people and will be renamed the People's Tower. He will be forced to serve the Apprentices who every week on a new version of the television show will force Trump to do real work for the cause of the revolution. Like mopping the lobby of Trump Tower, or running for coffee for the Apprentices while they rearrange all of his businesses into people's cooperatives. Or help Robin out at the receptionist desk while she takes her breaks. At the end of the show the Trumpster will be graded on his performance and will have to meet the Apprentices in the boardroom where he will be fired! But he'll be hired again for next week's show.

I gotta wonder though, if that show will be around when the revolution comes. And the revolution is coming soon. Mark my words my comrades. First Apprentice Martha Stewart flops, and then the original Apprentice gets moved to Monday night. Is that a flushing sound I hear? Cause when show moves from Thursday night, to Monday night, you can be sure it's going down the toilet. I can't understand it because it seems to me that the Donald has found an ingenious formula, I mean he is a genius, whereby he can get a significant audience to watch commercials sandwiched between commercials, sandwiched between self-absorbed Trump wannabes backstabbing each other. Because when the Donald isn't shilling for one of his own many businesses on the show, he's giving the Apprentices a project that involves shilling for one of the shows many sponsors.

It's like one of those Chinese box deals where there's like a box inside a box, inside a box. It is a mystery wrapped inside an enigma, wrapped inside a conundrum, wrapped inside several layers of advertising. Masterful. Monday before last what did they do? They created a jingle for Arby's to advertise a new chicken sandwich. Last Monday, help launch the P'EatZZa, a new 7-11 sandwich, by creating a promotional giveaway item based on the 7-11 Andretti-Green racing car. I gotta think the remaining portion of the dwindling audience for this show is made up of people who exclusively watch shopping channels and infomercials.

I have to add just one more thing. Occasionally the Donald's lovely daughter Ivanka is on the show substituting for Carolyn because apparently every show must have a very thin blonde woman on the non-Apprentice side of the boardroom table. A few weeks ago the Donald was on the View with his daughter. When asked how he'd feel if his daughter posed for Playboy, the Trumpster said, if she wasn't my daughter I'd probably be dating her. Ick Donald. Ick.

No comments: