Stuff Black People Hate

At first it may seem derivative of Stuff White People Like (SWPL). The concept certainly is. Frankly, the author, in his own words, does not give a sh*t. Before you dismiss Stuff Black People Hate (SBPH), expecting a clone of other sites of its ilk, check it out. The site is smart, funny, much angrier and a lot less politically correct than SWPL. This post is not in any way an attempt to give black people equal time. A friend forwarded it to me after I posted SWPL and I read it and it was damn funny. So now I'm posting it. That's my criterion period. Not white, black, yellow, brown, green or purple, just funny. Examples of SBPH:

Clubbing - The Bouncer: a bouncer is a large man whose life is utterly meaningless between Sunday and Thursday. But for two glorious nights, this meat popsicle holds the keys to your very soul. He controls your ability to enter the club, and he can ‘bounce’ you out of the club at any time and for virtually any reason. He feels cool because he gets to wear one of those little earpieces like Secret Service agents. If he wants to impress a girl by looking important, he’ll put his finger up to his ear and assume a concerned facial expression so it looks like he’s receiving critical information from a very important person - e.g. “drunk chick vomiting in the third floor bathroom, please respond” from the busboy with questionable immigration status.

Europe - Here are some of the things that suck, with teeth and dry tongue, about various European countries:

1. Spain: pickpockets, pickpockets, and more pickpockets.
2. France: Socialism. Ew.
3. England: bad teeth, bad food, and the constant threat of rain. And Hugh Grant
4. Czech Republic: they will throw you out a window, and they will not give a fuck
5. Portugal: a country full of dudes whining about their lost empire
6. Italy: the mob is their fault
7. Germany: Too easy.
8. Netherlands: for some reason, the Dutch have declared war on Islam

Abraham Lincoln - I’ve met a lot of white people who get pissed off when blacks seem ‘ungrateful’ for the things some of them have done for us. Now, these white people know they can blame Abraham Lincoln. It’s not that we don’t appreciate the things you do, it’s that we don’t trust you. It’s the same sentiment that a girl in a bar has toward a guy that buys her a drink. She appreciates the drink, but she’s pretty sure that his sneaky ass is up to something (and he almost always is).

Spelling and Grammatical Errors - You’d think that when debating some topic, the first thing you’d do in response to getting someone else’s opinion is to examine it for logical errors, invalid assumptions, lies, disingenuous or misleading statements, and other things that actually matter.

This is not the process we black people follow.

Instead, we will read your argument carefully - but the first time we go through it, all we’re doing is looking for is mistakes in your writing. We’re looking for spelling errors, dangling prepositions, sentence fragments, improper semicolon use, and other things that are extremely relevant to your argument. We don’t care that, after observing chimps in the wild for 30 years, you’ve discovered that some have learned to cultivate their own food: you spelled banana ‘bannana’ in your research paper, and therefore, you are only slightly more intelligent than the very creatures you study.

The last one is me at a much younger age. After years

of working with and around nerds, you learn that intelligence can't be measured purely in language skills, if at all. Though in some cases, such as a certain current president of the United States who shall remain nameless, it can be an indicator.

Carnival of the Liberals: Call for Submissions

I guess I should issue a call for submissions seeing as I already have one and I intended to ask for posts around a theme. I wasn't really finished formulating that theme, but I thought I'd better blast something out before more stuff comes in. First, thanks Carol, points for being first. If you've looked at my blog you can see that most posts are accompanied by supporting videos. At first they were mostly from Youtube. Now TV shows, broadcast and cable news, and even movies can be embedded legally on blogs.

In making this post, I'm thinking about why I almost always include video. Maybe it's because I'm too lazy to write all the details. Maybe it's because most people are too lazy to read. Though I can't support it with facts, I think video is more viral than text alone. But I think I can rationalize it better than that. Obviously I enjoy reading and writing or I'd have a vlog and not a blog. This is kind of a hybrid of the two.

I honestly believe there is something extremely powerful about our ability to create our own media and share it around the entire planet in the way the Internet makes possible today. It's a truism that it's changed and is constantly changing our world. From the Abu Ghraib scandal that would never have had the impact it did on our perception of the Iraq war if it weren't for the ability to share those pictures instantly around the planet and to comment on them, through the guy who got tazed at the John Kerry rally who made, "Don't taze me bro!" a catch phrase, to the clips of Barack Obama's former pastor that had the potential to derail the candidacy of an almost certain presidential nominee, we are seeing the impact new media has on our perceptions and our world.

In the case of the latter we are seeing Trinity United Church of Christ answer the media storm created by Reverend Wright by creating it's own Youtube channel and putting out videos with Wright's statements in full context. A topic I plan to post on shortly. It's shocking the difference context makes and more shocking that no one in the MSM made any effort to do so. But it demonstrates the power we have to be our own media. It increases the impact even a single individual can have on the world. To be in effect a revolution of one.

New media has completely changed this year's presidential primary and I believe has made it possible for a new kind of candidate, one who may never have had a chance before, to emerge as the almost certain Democratic nominee. In the video above from a year ago Joe Trippi, the strategist and Internet guru who put together John Dean's surprising rise to leader of the Democratic pack in 2004, talks about the possibilities for this year's race.

So finally, I'd like to ask for submissions that either include, or are on the topic of new media, with special emphasis on video. I'll leave it as broad as possible, but topics could include anything from how new media has affected this years presidential campaign, or the war in Iraq, to citizen journalism around the world. As long as it somehow involves new media in some way. I appreciate this opportunity to host Carnival of the Liberals and I look forward to your submissions.

-Fight the powers.